So, its been a while since I've spilled my soul to the internet. And, since then, things continue to be an adventure. I've received inappropriate gifts from weird people, been bitten three times by a kid, and have locked myself out of my apartment. Or, rather, my key snapped in half, then I was out. Ive made friends, and spent Christmas with one of them. And, so did Bailey Beagle. She's still quite an impressive dog.

My house currently has a mouse. It's gross. And disturbing. And, of course, Bailey does not appear to have any interest in killing it. I set up a trap, which doesn't appear to be working. Maybe Bail will be more interested once it has already died.

At any rate, I shall continue sipping on Woodchuck and watching family Guy reruns until I hear a delightful "SNAP!"

Hopes, Dreams, ect.

So, as of recent, I have moved. And have, as a result, been readjusting to my life as it currently stands. I've gotten used to passing time alone, and with my beagle. I have managed to make new friends. I have a new appreciation for NPR. I have a new appreciation for new places, new people. People who have had many different life experiences than me. And people who love their pets as much as I love mine. It's cool. Ive been applying for grad schools again. I've been planning for the future as it goes. I'm hoping to spend the summer as a ranch hand before school starts in the fall, assuming I get in. It would be the best job ever. I'd get to live on a ranch for a few months, then return to the school and then, back to the ranch in the off season. I could be a grown up cowgirl! The possibilities are endless. I am 23, and my responsibilities are limited to me and my dog. Its quite nice.

Bigger cities...

...in Montana still seems to have features of a small eastern Montana towns. Yesterday, I had gone into Billings, when, in a construction zone, I got stuck behind a pickup with a horse trailer. Usually, I'd be okay with this. But, I was running late, there were like 50,000 cars driving around, and there was construction. Not just the signs that say, "FINES DOUBLE IN CONSTRUCTION ZONES," but real workers that occasionally popped out into the road waving signs that said, "slow." The cars behind me seemed upset. Horns were honking, and I was in a rush to get to the bank, and back to the training I'd been sitting through all day. Don't get me wrong- the training's been interesting. I'll get back to that in a second. So this truck is still taking its sweet ass time, even after we get out of the construction. Of course, it's a two laner with no passing. Finally, after what felt like my entire lunch break, the pickup turned off. Point: Driving a diesel pickup with a horse trailer is badass. Just don't do it during the noon hour in Billings. People will quickly become irritated.

So, back to that whole training thang. I'm learning, or have learned some crisis intervention stuff. I've learned some behavior management stuff. And, best of all, I've learned how to properly restrain a kid if they're a threat to themselves or others. If I pass the exam tomorrow, I'm golden. If not... well, then I fail epically and need to retake the exam. Which takes time, and you don't get paid to take it a second time. And the higher ups get angry and spread bad juju. Or something to that general affect.

Outside of the work realm of things, things are good. Bailey has managed to learn (already) how to escape the fence. We're working on doing something about it. Bail and I have found a pretty rad animal hospital/groomer/ doggy day care/ dog park. It's everything a beagle could want or need and then some! She seemed to enjoy it. When I was there this afternoon, it was hot, so we did not stay for too long. But, she managed to get some running in and avoided getting out of their (much more secure) doggy play area.

Bailey has also managed to befriend a stray cat that seems to be haunting the neighborhood. Tyson and Bailey have taken a liking to it. I still don't like it. It's not particularly friendly, and takes a while to get used to humans. The cat seemed to take to Bailey, though. I'm curious to see how long it's going to take her to start playing with it, then get scratched in the face. Not that she's ever been scratched in the face by a cat before... She still seems to be in the butt smelling phase of things. At least she's managed to befriend one other four legged creature. Even if it's not a dog.

I have also experienced the joys of getting stung by a wasp. Out house has several nests outside that don't want to die, despite the large quantity of spray we've already used. It seems to be getting better, though.

Well, anyway. I should get some sleep. I plan to wake up early and prepare more for that exam. Hope y'all are doing well. That's right. I said, "y'all."

Update on the work situation.
So far things are going pretty good. I've had one week of training, and another next week. I feel like I learned a bit, and it's been helpful. I want to get it over, though, so I can get back to spending work time in the lodge. It's actually pretty fun in the lodge. After training it will be better still. The kids won't be able to get away with as much as far as I'm concerned. And hopefully, I won't be lied to as often.

In the personal sphere, things are pretty good too. The beagle is doin' well, and things with the man are good too.

Billings and beyond

So we've moved into Billings and things feel like they might be slowing down a bit. I've found a some cool stuff, and have started working. The job is going ok. I've been working with a group of teen-aged girls between 13-17. Most of them have behavioral and mental health issues, so it's been interesting and I've learned quite a bit over the last two weeks. I've also had the oppertunity to meet some cool people. But in the mean time, I'm still waiting to get paid.

there and back again... again

It's been a while since I've posted, I'm sure. I've been without internet for the last few days. Also sorry if you sent me an email and I just got back to you today. It's been a struggle being without the web.

We just moved to Laurel and are beginning to get settled into a house we're renting. My beagle seems to enjoy the extra space. I like the extra space. Things on the job front are also looking pretty good. I'm working as a counselor in one of the girls' lodges. The girls I'm working with are pretty neat, though they are in need of a ton of help (some of which cannot be provided by our facility, but that's sometimes how life goes...). I still feel sort of awkward and out of place, but it's a challenge I feel that I can meet. My boss seemed afraid that I might not like it, but I feel that this is definitely a place to learn and grow. Not only am I helping a kid, (or hopefully several kids) I am theoretically helping myself to grow.

I have not had much time to explore the city of Billings, but I've had a little time. I've found a co-op called the Good Earth Market. It's like Great Grains, but a lot larger. It seems like a small grocery store full of whole food products and bins bulk items, like granola or oatmeal. They also have soaps, and holistic dog food. (I don't plan to get dog food there- the beagle seems good as she is... Just think it's weird. While I don't feel comfy feeding my dog things I wouldn't eat, I don't think it's necessary to have a hippie dog...) I don't know that I'm going to get a membership yet, but we'll see. I have also found a church that I plan to attend. Bailey and I went to explore Billings, but the church was not open and then a guy started telling me about his enjoyment of dog eating. At this point, we took off and returned to Laurel, the city we live in just outside of Billings.

Besides that, things are going pretty well. Nothing too new to describe just yet...

The struggle of moving has once again hit me. (Hit me like what, you might ask. I am not entirely sure to be completely honest.) Anyway, we're struggling to get into an apartment (for various reasons), but I'm really hoping something works out really quickly, as I start my new job in one week, two days. I've been told that so long as I'm actively looking for a solution to my problemos, something is bound to turn up. So, I have been constantly searching. And nothing has turned up for sure just yet. And if it does not, well..... we'll cross that bridge when Ty and I burn it, I suppose.

On a more positive note, Bailey and I have managed to go out on several walks (or, in her case, runs...) and we have successfully managed to avoid both rattlesnakes and people on dirt bikes. We have also recently managed to avoid wolves, and make friends with other (friendly looking) dogs.

I'm really looking forward to the move to Billings. Don't get me wrong- Miles City has been a great community to live in for a year, but I feel as though I'm getting too comfortable with living in a small town... and I cannot say that I'm a huge fan of being too comfortable or the small town feeling that comes with being here. It's been welcoming, after you get over the, "Who are you? You're not from here!" stage of things. I feel more than ready, however, to move on. The job at Yellowstone sounds amazing! I really can't wait to start working with kids and actually doing stuff, that doesn't involve sitting in one place all day, writing articles that get torn completely to shreds. (S0 I recognize that revision is important, but if someone is going to completely re-write what I've written, what's the point of asking me to write something? I have an English degree. I spent four (okay, three and a half) years writing papers at a college level. I think I know what I'm doing. ) I'll be getting paid to make someone's day a little better and not sit on Facebook all day. I'll be getting paid to do something I like, and maybe learn something while I'm at it. I'll be getting paid to do stuff, period, that isn't sitting around and doing nothing.

On a slightly more fun note, I went to see this year's Shakesphere in the Park with a friend and her kid. It was Julius Caesar, so naturally, I wasn't really paying too much attention to the performance (though their costumes were neat). I found myself more focused on the kid I was with. He's so friggin' funny. He made a comment to the effect of, "Mom, this beer tastes a lot like soda." My friend looks at him, and replies, " that's because it is soda, honey." He then went on to tell me about how his step-dad drank a lot of beer. This conversation kind of made me giggle. Quite a bit.

4th of July

Independence weekend this year was rather... interesting to say the least.

On Friday, Tyson and I traveled to Billings on his motorcycle to check out apartments, and found something we liked. It's small, but cute, and dog friendly. It's a lot nicer than the place we're living in now. A plus. So, that's one thing out of the way. We got back a bit later than planned, and I missed the softball game, but it's ok. I got some sleep.

Saturday was fun. Miles City had a parade, and there was some stuff going on in the park. The Farmers' Market was great, as usual. The parade was lacking in the marching band department, but had a horse-drawn hurse. (spelling? one of those things that carries dead people...) Tyson and I, after the town festivities concluded, went out for a hike near Fort Keough. We allowed Bailey the Beagle to run off of her lead, and she did well for a while, until she caught a smell and took off. Despite our constant calling, it took us seemingly forever to get her back. I was getting anxious, while Tyson kept reassuring me that she would return. As I started to return to the car to see if she had gone back, Tyson calls to tell me he found her, and that he had gotten bit by a rattle snake. I called emergency, and an ambulance, several cop cars and a four wheeler (not to be confused with a quad) appear on the scene. We manage to find Tyson, who shortly after gets picked up and placed on the back of the four wheeler. He gets taken to the ER, where one of my co-workers meets me, and agrees to look after the dog for a few hours. We spent 15 hours in the hospital this weekend, and all worked out ok.

The rest of the weekend was pretty chill. We wound up taking Rose to the city's fireworks on the 4th. At this point Ty tried to explain that we were moving, and that he wouldn't get to see her as often. She hardly seemed phased by this... But hopefully, all will work itself out...

Montana

I have a few new exciting things going on...

First of all, I got the job in Billings, which is exciting. I have a real, grown up job. It's exciting. I'm excited about the opportunities that come with this. While it's not paying the most, it's a great place to begin. The current trick is finding an apartment that's dog friendly very quickly.

Speaking of my doggy, she's come down with a staph infection. She's on some crazy medicine, but seems to be doing ok with love and yogurt to supplement her diet to help the good bacterias return to her otherwise seemingly empty tummy. She's struggling to eat her kibble, but it might be the heat as well as her infection... I haven't been feeling so good, either, but it's super warm (like 100 degrees), so I'm trying to stay comfy as well as help my hound recover. Oh, the life.

edit 30 June: I'd also like to note that I'm excited about the Billings move, if not slightly intimidated. There are a few VISTAs remaining in that area, which will be cool. But, my time and "weekends" are completely different than the rest of the world, or so it seems. It's ok, though. I would eventually like to apply to MSU- Billings for a Masters in Mental Health and Rehab consoling. Seems interesting, and would probably result in promotions or a better job. The cool thing is that they offer online courses and classroom courses. I hope my life plan works out, and that this grown up thing really isn't as scary as it seems to be. So far, I've had someone else around to help make decisions for me or walk me through the processes that I needed to take. And now, well, I'm trying to do things myself. And really, it doesn't seem so bad. Yet.

Once again, there's...

...nothing too new or exciting happening on the horizon. I've been applying for jobs, mostly by sending out lots of resumes to places that look interesting and are hiring. I have an interview on Tuesday that I'm very excited about at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch in Billings. I hope this works out. If not, well, apply, apply, and apply some more and hopefully something will pop up. Jobs are really had to come by, I've heard, so I'm quite glad that I've had the opportunity to interview as much as I've had.

Several people that I'm close with have had to quit their jobs or have recently been let go because their employers are cutting back on staffing. Which sucks. Several of these people, it seems, are far more skilled than I am. This doesn't help me in the confidence department, but hey, at least I look good on paper.

My dad came out to visit a few weeks ago. This turned out to be a decent adventure, and they seemed to enjoy most of the things that I thought they would. We visited the ranch and a local vineyard. We also went to Spotted Eagle, where Bailey the Beagle did her thing and they got to marvel at the wide open spaces that I've come to take for granted. I managed to forget just how open things are here, as compared to the city I lived in before coming here. A friend of mine, after hearing about some of my and Bailey's adventures, asked that I return to "civilization" as soon as possible. I don't know how I feel about this. The big skies and open spaces are beginning to seem more and more appealing each time Bailey and I discover a new place that she can roam.

Tucker is moving onward, which will bring some change for me. The health foods store won't feel the same, and I feel as though I'm losing friends. Tucker and Scott have helped to make this place a lot better for me than it was when I got here. And now, the comfort bubble seems to be taking off. But, it all seems to be a growing process. I've got an amazing beagle. And some pretty good friends out here besides. Maybe Montana isn't such a bad place, after all.

Nothing too new or exciting is happening, besides me sending in two tons of job applications daily. (Which has proven to not be so successful.) I've only landed one interview, and, upon telling them that I wouldn't be able to start until the middle of July, they seemed disappointed. Or something to that effect. But, you know, that's how the world works sometimes.

I do, however, have some Bailey the Beagle stories to share. We went hiking over the past weekend, and she found some turkeys in some bushes, and decided that she wanted to chase them. She managed to get them out, and follow them for a bit, until they jumped off of a hillside. This caused her some confusion, but she continued smelling around, seemingly hoping to find a new smell. On Monday, she had the opportunity to meet something that looked like a lab, but had huge feet. The lab was following it's person who was riding a horse and seemed kind of cowgirl-tastic (which seemed kind of badass, of course). Anyway, they became friends and all went on after their doggy mohawks went down. (When my dog becomes nervous or unsure of herself, she has a patch of hair on her back near her neck that sticks up and looks kind of like a Mohawk.) I've determined that I'm still infatuated with cowboy culture. It's not so much that I desire to live on a ranch and have like 30,000 cows, but it's still neat being able to visit, and "help" to work with cows. It's also cool being able to participate in a culture that seems to be all about the cows and ranches, and having a ton of extra space available to do whatever on, like letting Bailey and her dog friends run on. Or, letting my dog walk with me off her leash, and recognizing that we're not going to get in trouble if she minds her manners and doesn't decide to jump on anything that shouldn't be jumped on (say a small child- but this happened once. Ty's kid was flailing the dog's toy around and Bail decided she wanted it back. When dog jumped up to grab it, she knocked the kid right over.).

60th post

So instead of writing my own post today, I'd like to point you to another blog. This guy is hella amazing. Pat was once an English professor at UWSP, and changed my life. Completely. I am not making this up. Anyway, he went on to write a fantasy series, entitled "Name of the Wind", which happened to be on the New York Times best seller list. Be excited. Pat is really amazing. His most recent post is great. Check it out. Now.

Fishing

Tyson recently decided that he enjoys fishing, which is cool. As it turns out, Bailey the beagle also enjoys romping through the tall grass near the river. So, it's all around fun for everyone involved. Until Tyson doesn't manage to catch anything. But, I still think that he enjoys escapes to the Tongue River which is within walking distance from our apartment, but is still far enough away from the city to feel like you're escaping.

Our neighborhood has also seemed to adopt an ugly, white boxer but you know, I might be kind of biased. It's been roaming around without tags that indicate it's shots or name. I really dislike it when dogs don't have tags saying, "Hi, I'm Rover and live at (this address). My owner is Bob. Please return me." Not that Bailey has one yet... But we're working on that. (In the wolf-dog incident, her collar fell off, along with her shot and name information.)

I have also determined that taking Bailey to Murdoch's is like taking a kid to a toy store. She smells absolutely everything, and enjoys meeting new people. It seems that her ears almost fall off of her head and she looses any ability to listen that she might have had before. But, when she makes it out into the forest or river areas, she does great, even off her leash. Funny how dogs' brains work, eh? I cannot complain, though. She's great.

So, I'm planning an adventure to Custer State Park in South Dakota on my way back to Wisconsin. While it's going to add some extra time to the drive, I think it'll be a worth while adventure. I might get to meet up with some college friends along the way. And, it'll be a good opportunity to get some hiking and camping in before I need to worry about being a grown up for real again. It'll be like summer break all over again. Which can't be too bad, right?

And on a final note, I'd again like to point out how lucky we are to live in a country such as America. Sure, there are things that we might not like, but we've got a lot of stuff going for us. Like a lack of HIV or AIDS and an abundance of resources to take care of "diseases" such as this. I found an article on the New York Times about Uganda's AIDS problem. Uganda is an African country, surrounded by Congo, Rwanda, Kenya, and Sudan. While they are getting help from other countries, there still doesn't be enough help in countries such as this. Also, as a result of the AIDS "problem" (in lack of another word), the Ugandan government supports an Anti-Homosexuality Bill. Their bill allows for anyone who is openly gay and HIV positive to be executed. So, in fewer words, be happy that you live in a country that has enough supports and technology to help people with HIV or AIDS. Be happy that we live in a country where you're not going to be executed because of your sexual orientation.

Edit: here's a good description of the bucking horse sale

So, this weekend is the annual, "World Famous Bucking Horse Sale," which I hear is nothing more than a big street festival complete with rodeos, a parade, and horse races. And, of course, lots of booze. I'm excited to see what all goes on. This morning, as I was walking my beagle, the street vendors had begun to set up their food stands. Everything already smelled amazing. My dog seemed a bit distracted by all of the new smells, but managed to make a few friends along the way. I hope she's okay with the many people staying at our house this weekend. I'm sure it'll prove to be a good weekend, as there will be tons of friends that I haven't seen in a while. More updates to come.

Nothin' too new...

So, it's been a few days since I've posted.

In the last few weeks...

• ...we adopted a beagle. She's 2, and is a sweetie.
  
• ... I decided to opt out of judo. I don't think I'm dedicated enough, and we have a beagle. She's very needy, and time consuming.
  

• I joined a bar softball league. This shall be starting soon. (This Friday, I think.)

That's really all I've got. Nothing too exciting.

Calf Branding...

The joys (or lack there of) of being a VISTA

The Billings Gazette published an article on the Billings VISTAs. Those kids seem to be having a positive experience. They actually seem to be making a positive experience in the Billings community, where I don't really feel like I'm doing much for people in my community. Sure, it's all about taking the back burner, but I don't know how sustainable getting donations really is. Will my efforts really pay off next year? Probably not. Will I be here long enough to find out? Nope. Am I growing from this experience? Probably. I hope, though, that the stuff I leave behind (I'm making a how-to guide for everything!) is somewhat helpful to future fund-raisers who serve CNADA.

On a slightly more positive note, I'm taking an adventure to Glendive for a training this week, and visiting another VISTA. I hope this trip goes well. I also have another interview for City Year this week. Hella cool.

At any rate, things are going pretty good. Having Tyson as a roommate is actually kind of fun, and not nearly as "intimidating" as I initially thought it would be. Beyond this, we're starting to plan for upcoming months. Tyson and I are going to a motorcycle rally, a town party (Bucking Horse) and my dad is planning a trip out to visit us.

I'm still patiently awaiting the farmers' markets, even though ours isn't as great as the ones I remember from my youth, or as great as the one in Billings. But that's how it goes living in a small town.

Time to grow. I mean... go.

So, there's been a lot of new stuff going on recently, mostly involving cows, rivers and amazing life experiences. But, these are the perks of living in Montana, I suppose.

Susan and I recently wandered around Fort Keogh, an old army fort that had been used by Custer and is now a cow research laboratory. People can go hiking, fishing, paddling, ect., and check out the cows that hang out in the pastures. We wound up getting slightly lost in our attempts to check out abandoned soldiers' quarters, and wound up going through a river. It was a delightful experience. We even encountered a bull who seemed to notice us, but ate grass contently as we quickly walked past.

We also had the opportunity to experience calf branding. This too was exciting, and new. I realized that things like this are potentially a once-in-a-lifetime type deal. How many times am I going to be able to walk into a room and say something like, "So, you know when you're out branding cattle and...." and have others be able to relate? Probably not so many. Unless they grew up on a ranch. Or maybe a farm if they've got several cows that are free-range as they are here.

Also, I heard back from U-MT, and apparently I'm not good enough to gain acceptance into their graduate school. This is okay, I guess. There'll be plenty of other opportunities. Or something. So I keep telling myself. I'm planning to return to Wisconsin towards the end of August. I've got an interview on Thursday of next week, which I'm looking forward to. It's for this program called City Year. I hope it works out, as it seems like a really interesting program. Just as eastern Montana begins to grow on me, I am also feeling the urge to return somewhere closer to home. I don't think I can spend the summer with brown grass, few trees and no humidity. I also miss the smell of thunder storms, spring time, and freshly cut grass. I miss the smell of fall. And of snow. I miss the feelings of snowmobiling. Of being in forests in the winter. I miss fresh veggies, and the Appleton Farmers' Market. I miss people who recognize that there are various kinds of corn. But, when I leave this Big Sky Country, I'll miss the people I've encountered and had the opportunity to spend time with. And the things I've been fortunate enough to experience here. How many people can say they've hiked through cow research facilities?

So, we'll see where I wind up. It's funny how things just grow on people, it's time to go. But this is a growing experience. On a slightly more positive note, Ty's thinking about coming with.

I've got a BA in English...

... and am beginning to realize now that this was poor decision making. I've determined that the only thing it's good for is making yourself look pretty. It allows you to know how to work your words. That's really it. I'm not entirely certain that it's really going to do much for me. Soc seems to be more helpful at this point in the ballgame. Most of the English major people I know, are now working in stores as clerks or have turned out to be hippies in whole foods stores. Nothing to do with their degree.

After getting rejected from various places and things, I haven't a clue where I'm going to be in a few seemingly short months. Throw in a few people and a bad economy, and life gets kind of tricky looking.

I've got a BA in English...

...and I often find myself thinking about language. The ways we use it. The ways we don't. I often think about how our word choice reflects our world view, and how each person, coming from a different place, articulates how they view things or how they do things or whatever. For example, I've recently started going to Bible study at the church I've been going to. (I'm not going to rant about religion. Promise.) We were looking at a passage from Philippians last night, and had several different translations of the Bible. We noticed that in each translation, the word choices that each version had, was significantly different, whether through implication or different words. One of the passages said something like, "All words are inspired by God". I do not recall how the other was phrased, but it implied that all passages in the Bible might not be inspired by the deity.

This in turn led me to start thinking, as well, about how languages generally change over time. Look at Chaucer or Shakespeare for example. Really, how many people could read and understand Chaucer without a "modern translation" next to it? Even words that look similar to words used today might have had a completely different context "back in the day."

Anyway, back to the "the ways we do(n't) use words" bit. Even within the United States, do words have a different meaning. If I say, in Montana, "Hey, where's the bubbler?" I often get strange looks. In some circles, it might mean, "Where's the bong?". Most of the time, I try to explain that a "bubbler" is something one drinks from, and a "water fountain" is something at a park, usually made of stone, that spits out water and looks pretty in the summer time. People here also use the word, "sack" to mean "bag", like in the grocery store. "Do you need a sack?" When I initially heard this, my first thoughts were, "No, I don't want to be punched in the stomach," or "I haven't even started working yet. Who are you to fire me?"

Then I try to consider the "people" aspect of language. Here's where my sociology major pops it's head out. While trying to remember that people use different words based on their life experiences or the region they were brought up in, I'm often curious about how certain groups of people (or individuals, I suppose) develop the language patterns they use.

These are the things I find myself thinking about. Maybe I think too much. Maybe I'm just curious. Or, maybe, I've got too much time on my hands. Got any interesting insights? Let me know.

So it's been a while, I imagine, since I've offered any insight into the thing that has somehow managed to become my Montana life. I've recently applied to a graduate program at the University of Montana, and had an interview today. My confidence in this department isn't high, but the possibilities are endless, I suppose. I've also recently fallen in love with a guy who has a kid. This, too, is a challenge, that I am still working through. Hopefully, I will live. If I do not wind up getting into the graduate program, I don't know where I'll be. But a new plan will stick it's head out as it did last time I graduated from college. I am not, however, entirely certain I'm up for another year of Ameri*Corps. Sure, the experience has been worthwhile, and I've met some pretty cool people that I would not have otherwise met. I've come to a small town in eastern Montana, a place that I would not have come to had it not been for this. I want to find permanance. It's been great exploring, though.

...One more thing.

I feel like ranting again about my love for the Beats. Instead of ranting, I'll show instead of tell. Above: Diane di Prima. Below: a cover of Ferlinghetti's "A Coney Island of the Mind."



King of the Beats, Kerouac, with friends.

New friends from all over the place

So in a half hearted attempt to kill some time, I've decided to describe some of the new characters I've encountered over roughly the last week. Bear in mind that my descriptions might be kind of biased. But, it's kind of okay.

TJ: A guy from Baker. Dark haired and relatively funny. Went to school with Tyson, and works at a coal plant.
Beau: Funny coal miner from Wyo.
Karl: Worker for the census and apparent part hippie. Relatively funny. He too has a passion for Kerouac. He seems to be a recovering hipster. Lived in Washington (me thinks) and has friends that visit from France. He seems kind of neat.

Nothing too terribly new has happened. I've gotten to help people move, managed to adopt a roommate, and apply for both a grown up job and a grad program. While I have not heard back from either (yet), I am anticipating an acceptance letter from Missoula any time this month. (My self- faith is limited... this might not be a good first step.) I'm sure something good is bound to happen. Or so I keep telling myself.

There has also been some progress on my fundraiser. A date has been set, though I still need to hear back from the caterer and find a speaker. And some entertainment. And a band, and get some donations. The gathering donations part should be easy- Everet left a good plan laid out. I kind of like going to bother people, as well. It's a nice feeling, I guess, making new friends in the community. Despite the fact that I'm regularly confused for a young man, Montana is growing on me.

Two posts, one week. Impressive? Maybe. I've finally gotten my applications in, and I am waiting for a rebirth of wonder.... No, I'm waiting for word to start coming back about where I am going to be next year. At this point, it's more of a "Hey, I did what I could, and now it's a waiting game."

This, however, makes me impatient. So, things besides the applying for crap stuff is going relatively smoothly. Tyson is still amazing, and unfortunately, the baby's still sick. Hopefully, she'll recover quickly. Surprisingly, I miss her.

Also, I'd like to suggest that you check out this poem: I am Waiting by L. Ferlinghetti.

This is the new year?

So, small town life is really eating on me. The uncertainties that lie ahead are equally as wearing. While I recognize that the possibilities are endless, I feel as though the number of possibilities keep decreasing on a daily basis. Mostly because I a) don't think I'm good enough or b) don't feel up to writing a thousand essays. Also, c) I'm really hoping the grad school thing will work out, though I'm not entirely confident it will. I hate my lack of confidence. Any pointers on how to recover this?

At any rate, work goes. I'm doing what I can, but I can't wait to move forward. I know that I need to focus on this stage, and get stuff done (which I will), but I also feel like I'm ready to move on. There are several things I can do, but the key is bullshitting. Or something.

While I recognize that I posted two days ago... I still felt moved by the spirit to go on a quick... rant, if you will. So, this whole winter business is getting old. I hate the fact that my car has huge, gross looking chunks of ice frozen to it. I hate the fact that I can't ride my bike to work, and use tons of gas that costs an arm and a leg most of the time. I hate the fact that there's ice on the outside of my door. I hate waking up, and going to start my car, only to realize that it's quite cold and to remain warm, five shirts are usually required. There's no one outside. I can't wander around on the dikes (paths by the river, not the lesbians.) I miss Fort Keough adventures. I miss random hikes at Strawberry Hill. I miss taking road trips and not having to worry about the interstate being covered with ice. I miss warmth.

At any rate, besides getting sick of the winter, nothing too terribly new is happening. I've been working a lot, sleeping, and throwing people at judo. I've been watching movies. And having great conversations. And missing Wisconsin friends.

So I'm beginning to find my place in the world. Or at least, my place in Miles City. I'm kind of... bummed that it took me so long to do this, and I've only got a little time left. While I'm in the process of making life changes, more hurdles keep popping up in my face, making things even more challenging. But this is what happens, right? As we get older, things begin to get more complicated. It's becoming more of a "This is quite serious" and less of a "I'm living for me", which sounds... like a place that I didn't expect to be any time soon. I love how this works. Love? That's a big word. Speaking of words, I got into a conversation with Tyson last night about words. It surprised me that, to some people, words are just that- words. Meaningless symbols that we use for nothing more than communication. As an English major, I recognize that, but I feel like without words, there would be nothing. No real way to develop individuality or express things that seem to be a bit beyond us (ex. spiritual stuff, deeper feeling, ect.). Things would be stuck, and remain the same forever. But, that's just my two cents. Take it as you will.

At any rate, Tyson is back from Utah, judo's going well, and I'm still lacking in the desire to go home again department. While I've grown a lot as a person here (or so I like to think), there are also a lot of changes happening at home, I'm sure. I have fond memories of what it means to be "home", and upon leaving for an extended period of time, and revisiting home, things always seem quite different. And sometimes pretty awkward. This is how life is. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.

Shaun White won another gold. Be excited. Or... I don't know what will happen. Maybe there will be flying llamas. Or your mom might start to smell like elderberries. No more bad Monty Python jokes, promise. Well, at least for today.

Speaking of Monty Python, I introduced Tyson to The Holy Grail, and he didn't seem amused. Bummer. I guess Monty Python's one of those things you either love or don't get and therefore dislike. Anyway, The Knights of Ni demand a shrubbery!

Hope you're all doing well!

Herm... This time of year?

So, I realize it's been a while. And once again, there's nothing too terribly new or too terribly exciting going on. I went on an adventure to Billings last night, which proved to be quite fun and full of good conversation. I'm beginning to get applications together for cool stuff to do next year if the University of Montana stuff doesn't work out... which is proving to be relatively stressful. I'm feeling quite unmotivated to do anything besides sit around in the office, hang with the friends and do judo... Any pointers?

trainings and more cold

So, once upon a time there was a kid who seemed relatively happy. Said kid wound up growing up, going to college and moving away from their family because they were bored and wanted to see and do new things. So, kid left and found themselves in a completely different world. But, they lived contently for a year, then realized that they again wanted something new and different....

A Quick Update:

1. I'm considering options for the rest of my life if the U-MT thing doesn't work out. This is proving to be a difficult task.
   
2. Once again, it is cold in Montana. But, at least my car's starting
3. I'm going to Helena again! Next week! Whooooo civilization. It's always nice.
   

That's really all I've got.

How Not to Save the World

Over the last week, nothing too terrible has happened. I've begun taking up Judo- I found a teacher who's willing to work with me for free. I've realized yet again that small town livin' really isn't my tea cup, and that I'm definitely ready to start moving forward with my life. Where is forward? At this point, I'm really not sure, but I am relatively sure that staying in a small town is not what I want to do. Unfortunately, I have a hard time articulating why this is to people who haven't had my similar life experiences. So, I'm going to try again.

I'm coming from a place where everyone around me either has or is working toward a four year degree. Everyone graduated high school. I'm coming from a place that is relatively liberal, and people tend to hug trees. People carry pepper spray and smoke cigarettes. There are parties in people's basements, and the houses tend to be relatively expensive but shitty as all get out. People are like minded. There's a cinema with several screens, coffee shops that are open later than 6 pm, and often more to do than sit around or go to a rodeo. There's some culture, and actual diversity that goes beyond the type of spurs or cowboy hats people have.

Here, in Montana, the cinema has one screen, and it takes weeks for movies to get here. People chew their tobacco and carry around their shot guns. Four wheelers are in fact street legal, and 15 mph is the common pace that people drive at. Most people here don't even dream of going to college, and often don't see how it can be beneficial. They're often ranchers or their parents didn't go to college and did alright, so they believe that they can make it. There are still one room school houses. Everyone here is white, and tends to be republican. I am the town "greenie", or "granola"- the town hippie. It's not ok for guys to have long hair. And while people pride themselves on being straight forward, they're often not. I'm not trying to make it sound all bad. People here are relatively nice, and I feel safe leaving my door unlocked when I'm not around. I don't have to worry about getting jumped or robbed, and my car won't get broken into. (I've met people who leave their car keys in the ignition here.) It's just really different than the place I'm coming from, and I'm really kind of uncomfortable with it. I don't like that everyone knows who I am. I strive to return to a bigger city, where I can bike or walk and not fear that I'm going to be run over. I want to go back to being just another face in the crowd, as opposed to being a person that everyone knows everything about.

Haiti (once more), Obama-rama, and Adventures

I promise to keep my rants about politics and natural disasters to a minimum this post. While on that note, I wish there was more we could do to help Haiti as individuals (despite a lack of funds) or help Obama figure out what he's going to do now that Ted Kennedy's spot has been filled by a Republican. But, I suppose there's not really a lot I can do from a small town in Eastern Montana, where rental car centers don't exist and public places with internet access are hard to come by. I'm sure the world will go back to being a decent place at some point, right?

Things here haven't been too bad comparatively. Kind of boring, sure, but not bad. I spent most of last weekend in Terry, a town of about 500 roughly 30 minutes east of Miles City. I've learned, after spending three days there, that I'm quite grateful to live in a town that has a Wal-Mart (despite the fact that I dislike shopping there), multiple grocery markets and a cinema. I also enjoy the notion that we have Great Grains and several hippies. There are people who walk places (despite the fact that people think we're weird for doing it). Living in a town any smaller might drive me insane. At least there aren't any people riding around on their horses now... But, Beef Breeders are coming soon. Apparently, Main Street sort of shuts down, and cows are fenced in so others can come and bid on them. Mmmm, the life of a rancher. I'm begining to enjoy the small town living- it's so completely different than any other place I've lived in before. Some of my friends still have to explain how things work, but it's not so bad. I also theoretically get to learn about taking tractors apart this weekend, which should be exciting. There's so much to learn!

Only one more small chunk of my college application to get in, and hopefully I should get accepted! I won't be able to finish it up until early Febuary, but I'm sure everything will work out. It always does, right?

Haiti

Once again, commentary on how to save the world. I'm quite sure you've heard enough of this from your local news, cnn.com , or wherever else you get the news from. So earlier this week, there was an earthquake in Haiti, killing thousands, injuring many others and knocking over lots of buildings, including schools, hospitals, and government buildings. Many of the injured still aren't getting services needed, and the hospitals are running low (if they're not already out) of supplies. Obama and several European leaders have promised to send aide to Haiti, but it's (apparently) not getting there fast enough. Since the airport in Port au Prince was also affected by the quake, it's also quite hard to send help. Personally, I think the right things are in the process of happening. People are trying to help, and the Red Cross has so far gotten tons of donations, and is sending $10 million to help. American Troops are also being sent to help. Meanwhile, there are some others who claim that Haiti deserved the quake because they made a pact with the devil years ago. I think this is kind of funny, as Haiti isn't the only country that has had political unrest (think the A merican Revolution or the Civil War). If I had the opportunity, I'd totally be the first to jump on a plane and attempt to help out with broken French and band-aides, (brand names become a common thing, eh?) and find a way to spread the "it's a natural disaster- how is this devil related?" word. If you're a praying person, or even just a reflexive person, please continue to remember those in Haiti, and how much better off we are for living in an "industrialized" country where our buildings aren't as likely to fall over as a result of earthquakes. We also are a large country with loads of great hospitals and doctors and social workers and others who can help save the day with their mad saving the day skills. Haiti, on the other had, has limited resources at this point in the ball game (if you will). If you're in a position to help, do it! Donate, volunteer, do whatever you think is necessary to help out, even it's something simple, like giving others a reminder that in reality, we're quite lucky, and others are in dire need of help.

Check out the links below for more relevant info.:
Fund raising in Interesting Means for Haiti
Efforts to save orphans
Violence and a need for water...
NYTimes has some pretty... interesting pictures and is also offering up to moment info.

Homelessness and this coldness.

So, as I'm sure you've noticed by now, it's quite cold outside. It's been at least -20 when I've woken up for the last two days and my car has frozen itself something solid. This kind of sucks for me, but I have a place to live. I have resources, like friends or family that I can turn to if I need help. Think about the people who prefer to sleep outside than visit a homeless shelter because they feel safer alone. Or the full and often under-prepared shelters. Think, for three seconds, about how much it would suck to either be the homeless person, or the person working at the shelter sending people away. Cnn.com suggests ways to help homeless people if you encounter them. (Check back for a link later...) I thought these were interesting, and they helped to change my perspective... While I sit in a local cafe, I find myself often taking for granted the luxury this really is. I have a house and a few extra bucks to spend on good food and delicious, warm drinks. My apartment is heated, and has running water. I don't need to worry about burning coal or wood that I find on the street to keep myself or my apartment warm. I have a cell phone. I own my own car. So... if you too have these luxuries, think about things that you could do to make the world a better place. Maybe volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. Get involved.

I got into a discussion today with an older friend here. Mostly about getting involved, and potentially why more people don't. He suggested that, while we're living in a democratic society, many people chose not to get involved or consider that they have the ability to make a difference. Often, we're too caught up in making a dollar. I'm not saying that money is not important (we need it to survive), but becoming rich often takes the place of trying to become involved and do something to make the world a better place. We're too caught up in having coffee from a local cafe (versus, say, Folders) or the shiny new BMW. The friend suggested that, in the middle and high schools, teachers should teach more about involvement. How to become involved, ect. Do it. Become involved. Change the world.

So this is the new year...

... And I don't feel any different.

So I feel like I need to get back to the initial point of this blog: discussing the quirks of eastern Montana as compared to central Wisconsin (from a mid-western point of view, of course). I've been using a lot of short sentences and bullet points. I need to get back to the longer winded posts.

I have had several exciting adventures. I'll start in a psuedo-chronological order. Alex the Texan, Susan and I went to Billings for the New Year. It was kind of exciting. We went to the cinema, and saw "Up in the Air". It was an interesting movie about a guy (George Clooney) who gets hired by bigger businesses to fire people. He winds up meeting this woman who he believes has the same paradigm that he has- flying and spending most of his life on the road, so to speak. They wind up having an affair, and he falls in love. That is until he decides he wants to become serious and give up his travels that he has previously enjoyed so much to spend more time with her. He eventually shows up on her doorstep, only to discover that she's got a family, and is happily married. Her perspective was that they were just having a happy affair, the end. He thought she actually gave a shit about him. Woops. Anyway, it was a decent movie. We also hung out with some of the Billings VISTAs at their house, and played a rousing game of Truth or Dare. We eventually hunkered out, and returned to Miles City, cowboy capital of the world.

Later that weekend, Susan and I got bored, so we decided to take an adventure to the ranch in Terry. It was quite delightful. We wound up going sledding with Cowboy and Megan on some of the smaller hills on the ranch. The cows kind of hung out and didn't really do much to my surprise. I hoped that they would do something cool- or at least moo- but they just stood there all content and watched us. Oh the life of eastern Montana cows. How nice it would be. Save the lack of barns thing. We later played Rock Band and enjoyed coffee and Baileys. Yum. I've become quite partial to the ranch- it's kind of a neat place to be. (Yes, it's a ranch. I've learned recently that farms are more agriculturally based- they grow corn or hay or soy beans and occasionally have a few animals. Ranches, on the other hand, tend to be more animal based and less likely to grow crops. Sure, they might have a few acres of hay or whatever to feed their cows, but the cows make their money.)

At any rate, these are my recent adventures. It's been great.