How Not to Save the World

Over the last week, nothing too terrible has happened. I've begun taking up Judo- I found a teacher who's willing to work with me for free. I've realized yet again that small town livin' really isn't my tea cup, and that I'm definitely ready to start moving forward with my life. Where is forward? At this point, I'm really not sure, but I am relatively sure that staying in a small town is not what I want to do. Unfortunately, I have a hard time articulating why this is to people who haven't had my similar life experiences. So, I'm going to try again.

I'm coming from a place where everyone around me either has or is working toward a four year degree. Everyone graduated high school. I'm coming from a place that is relatively liberal, and people tend to hug trees. People carry pepper spray and smoke cigarettes. There are parties in people's basements, and the houses tend to be relatively expensive but shitty as all get out. People are like minded. There's a cinema with several screens, coffee shops that are open later than 6 pm, and often more to do than sit around or go to a rodeo. There's some culture, and actual diversity that goes beyond the type of spurs or cowboy hats people have.

Here, in Montana, the cinema has one screen, and it takes weeks for movies to get here. People chew their tobacco and carry around their shot guns. Four wheelers are in fact street legal, and 15 mph is the common pace that people drive at. Most people here don't even dream of going to college, and often don't see how it can be beneficial. They're often ranchers or their parents didn't go to college and did alright, so they believe that they can make it. There are still one room school houses. Everyone here is white, and tends to be republican. I am the town "greenie", or "granola"- the town hippie. It's not ok for guys to have long hair. And while people pride themselves on being straight forward, they're often not. I'm not trying to make it sound all bad. People here are relatively nice, and I feel safe leaving my door unlocked when I'm not around. I don't have to worry about getting jumped or robbed, and my car won't get broken into. (I've met people who leave their car keys in the ignition here.) It's just really different than the place I'm coming from, and I'm really kind of uncomfortable with it. I don't like that everyone knows who I am. I strive to return to a bigger city, where I can bike or walk and not fear that I'm going to be run over. I want to go back to being just another face in the crowd, as opposed to being a person that everyone knows everything about.