So, I've been trying to remain optimistic and have more of a positive worldview. This has been surprisingly easy. I hope that things will perk up after the classes are over. They begin tonight. I'm actually excited to get them going, and get this stuff over; hopefully then I can move forward and land a better job. I regret that I haven't been more able to write more, but aspire to write more describing the classes tonight. :-)

I am beginning to feel hopeless again. I realize that I need a job, I have things to accomplish. My goals, however, require that I have some money to support me and take me to the places I need to get to. Getting a decent job right now is important but I feel like this is significantly harder than it is supposed to be. I've been sending out resumes and really well written cover letters, and am getting nowhere fast. I don't know if the DUI is the reason, but I imagine it might be. Anyway, I take the classes beginning next week, and hopefully they will help my life get re-organized.

Nothing too terribly new...

Within a week or two of goal setting and wanting to write more in an attempt to better myself and keep myself sane, I've already begun to fail. Quite sorry about this, but I have become addicted to the show, "Sons of Anarchy." I've determined that seasons 1 and 2 are epic, but I'm not a huge fan of 3 (when Abel gets kidnapped). I'm not up to date on season 4 just yet... but I hope to be soon. I've heard it's a great success.

Things finally seem as though they might come back around. I visited with my doctor today, who thinks I should visit with a psychologist. This, I think, will be helpful. I'm not sleeping, not waking up feeling "rested." It's weird- maybe I'm more like Kerouac than expected. He, it seems, never slept. Kept going, kept writing as though he was... Anyway, I haven't the ability to write like him, to transform an entire generation. I can write about him, then tell you tales of my beagle, (get it, beagles have tails...bad jokes aside) but that's all I've got.

My beagle is quite well, as is work. This is all.

I regret missing yesterday, but (as odd as this sounds) I was at a loss for words.

The weather here is weird. It's been very warm the last few days. The beagle finally got used to the snow; it has since vanished. There are still bits of snow around, buried under the Christmas trees on the terrace. The beagle insists on sniffing the trees with a look that seems to imply, "Hey, it's an evergreen! Where are the bunnies?" She loves to sniff. Nightly, she insists on going outside and exploring the back yard, looking for Molly the Mole who lives under the ground, leaving visible lines in the grass. (Yes, I've given the "pests" a name. Since living in Montana, I have learned that pests don't really exist. It's really just a matter of perspective.)

Yesterday, we took the pooch to the dog park. She returned all muddy and gross, with the white parts of her legs covered in mud. She finally got a bath today; she smells and nice. I also recently moved her dog bed into the living room; this is now the popular piece of furniture in the living room.  

Have I noted that the DUI classes are finally beginning? And my cousin's coming home! Whoo hoo. Regrettably, I don't know if I'll be able to see him while he's here; I will not give up on this endeavor though. It's been far too long, I feel, since I've been to my aunt, uncle and cousins' house. Floppy Ears also seems to enjoy her time there; however, she does enjoy eating the garbage in the bathroom, and frequently needs to be chased out.

Oh, what would we do if we didn't have our dogs? I wish everyone had a beagle as cool as mine.

On a non-beagle related note, I've determined that I am also very grateful for the humans that are currently in my life. My family seems only to want to help, and I find their help and occasional bluntness amazing.

Laptop is about to die. Maybe I'll return more later. Thanks again for stopping in. I hope you've had a great day.

*** A few hours later***
 While I'm working on remaining positive, I've decided there are a few things that I really cannot stand.
1.)  Shoes that tie: They're so annoying and always seem to come untied. And they always come untied at the most inconvenient of times.
2.)  Head  colds: Incredibly icky. And you wake up with a severe case of dry mouth and lots of boogies.
3.)  My beagle's ability to have "selective hearing": This can (and has) cause(d) trouble.

On a positive note, things are looking up. Trying to remain positive is key. Things'll work out in their own time.

Tea... Yum.

So, I'm still really excited about the DUI classes coming, and soon to be over-- even though that's still two months off. I'm just happy to be nearing the end of this. Unfortunately, some people aren't so thrilled, it seems. While I understand that they're trying to help... I don't really feel like I need more "Debbie Downers," so to speak. I hope that the plans that I've made for myself- my goals- are still achievable. I have currently come into another time of doubt. I hope that this too will pass.

On a positive note, I still have a beagle. We went for a walk earlier this morning, and one of my mittens fell out of my pocket. Later, I found my mitten as we were driving to my cousin's birthday party. Hurrah! It was laying on the sidewalk a block from our house. I don't know how it got there, but it was a simple win. A simple way to feel slightly better.

My cousin's birthday was wonderful. Dinner for me consisted of a grilled cheese sandwich, green bean casserole, and potato salad. Let me reassure you- it was a great grilled cheese. And the bean casserole- also delish since I missed it at Thanksgiving and Christmas. I think I made more green bean casserole as comfort  food while living in Montana because I missed my family. Now, that I'm surrounded by them, I'm... really not enjoying life. Arguably, this is a natural consequence... But, this, too, will pass.

Yoga and Feelin' better

So, recently I've been experimenting with yoga. I felt inspired by a former pastor's wife, who did a lot of yoga in her house with yoga films. This initially sounds silly, but it led me to wonder, "What's this about?" Upon moving back to Wisconsin, I went to the local Barnes and Noble Booksellers, and picked up a yoga DVD. I managed to do some of the basic stretches and moves. (These are called "poses.") Upon finishing these hour long exercises, I realized I felt a sort of, "high," comparable to that I used to feel when I ran cross country in high school. So... being an English and Sociology major, my curiosity took off. I decided to do my homework, and see what others had to say about this. I wanted to know if others had similar feelings.According to an article on about.com, written by Ann Pizer, yoga can help to reduce stress. She notes that, like other forms of physical activity, yoga requires a concentration that helps, "melt" your troubles away. She notes that this concentration also helps to bring a calmness to your body as you focus on your body. As you continue to do yoga, you can also increase strength and flexibility, which can also help reduce pain. (Pizer). Some of the stretching that comes with yoga can help release an enzme that comes with muscle use, that can cause fatigue as well as other side effects. Studies have shown that, even with several weeks of practicing yoga,  one can feel benefits. According to most studies, participants in yoga noticed increased shoulder and trunk flexibility (webmd.com). Ok, ok. Enough of this paper writing professional mode, and into the more fun and exciting stuff. (For more info. on yoga, check out the links posted below.)

Bailey and I also just went for a walk, and it reminded me again of Montana. Not just the aspect of being outside with my pooch... because that's nothing like being in Big Sky Country. The skies looked like home, and the wind blew wonderfully, as a fire flickered in a grill, resembling something of a campfire on the prairie. The air smelled wonderfully, of wood; it seemed to carry a certain moisture that brought storms with it. Anyway, it reminded me of the prairie I call home.

I have also determined that walks help me feel better. The abllity to take time to think of, and be grateful for my surroundings, even if I don't particularly  care for my current place in life. I have a roof over my head. Family who cares and an amazing beagle who, while she occasionally drops the ball, will never let me down. She is, after all, a dog.

Speaking of dogs, I assume you've all read about the amazing corgi? If not, here's a link to that story:  http://www.nbcmontana.com/news/30142325/detail.html

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is something along the lines of, do something you love, often. Find time to touch base with yourself and set goals. Then, make 'em happen. Be happy. Bring peace. Love. Laugh often. And be around people who like you for you.
"... She likes me for me... Not because I hang with Leonardo, or that guy who plays in Fargo..."

Pizer, Ann. "Health Benifits of Yoga." <http://yoga.about.com/od/beginningyoga/a/benefits.htm> 26 Sept. 2011. 6 Jan. 2012
"Yoga Health Benifits: Flexibility, Strength..." <http://www.webmd.com/balance/the-health-benefits-of-yoga>

Coffee

I woke up this morning, still quite sick. My head still feels groggy, as though boogers will soon be invading my brain and the remainder of my brain. My beagle, pressed as close to my legs as possible, upon realizing that I've woken, approaches my face, and begins to lick my nose. She seems to know that I am sick and still do not feel great. I grab my phone, and realize... I've got an appointment in a little less than an hour with my aunt to get my life back in order. (Believe me or not, I have had some success in this department already.) I heat up some oat meal, and turn on the "Gilmore Girls," while I scarf down my oats and sip on some coffee in my  black mug. These black mugs remind me of days gone by, but then I recall... My beagle. Her coat is part black. My mind again changes topics. Time to remain positive. Time to focus on the great things that I will do and become. I will be doing great things and turn into a great person, just as soon as I can get the garbage of my past behind. I need to look at the positive things. Like Miss Floppy Ears.

I initially began this blog with the intention of eventually writing a book about my adventures, and achieving life goals. I have established goals, and a notebook that I carry with me and write in when internet access is not readily available. (Surprisingly, this happens more often than not.) So far, I've managed to rant a little, rave a little more, and be angry at the world the most. Things, presently, appear to be getting back on track, however. Or... so it appears, anyway.

While I am uncertain if anyone reads this, I think it will be most useful if I dedicate 10 minutes a day, if only for myself. It will help, at least, to maintain my writing ability, and maybe my memory.

On the upside,  I have finally gotten in touch with a human (yes, a real, live, breathing, non-electrical person) at the Technical College in town regarding my DUI classes. I am quite excited about this. As it turns out, a newer employee of the college had mis-filed (new word of the evening) my registration forms. This, as a result, made my contact at the Tech unaware of what was happening with me. I noted that the paperwork had been sent in nearly a month ago, and she still seemed confused. Upon looking back through the computer, she determined that the check had been cleared, and the registration form misplaced. I really need all of this to become taken care of; as of February 16th, it will be. I'm quite excited about this.

The beagle rests beside me, snoring under a blanket next to me as I'm feeling quite congested and head-cold- tastic. I've had the opportunity to re-connect with old friends, and rekindle old relationships over the last few days. It has been quite wonderful. Megan from Montana arrived in town. To my surprise, Ian the Cowboy was also in Appleton. We got some wonderful lunch! I then caught up with other, even older pals. There were even friends from high school in town over the New Years holiday. I got coffee with Nate, and played with his wonderful beagle/blue heeler cross. His dog, as it turns out, is actually very cute. Sort of funny lookin', but it seems like a neat pooch.

Regardless, I believe that I should go. My head is beginning to feel cloudy with snot. I hope you're (?) feeling better than me!